“Happy holiday…” – was the beginning of another advertising message on my phone. In general, I received more than a dozen of them, and all as one they asserted that we urgently need to congratulate “dear/beloved/sweetheart”, and a number of epithets about men, on the occasion of the holiday, and they invariably repeated everything about “male day”. At first, I was still a little surprised, for how many years we are talking that the day of the Intercession, the Day of the Defender of a Motherland is not a holiday about gender.
So, it turns out that from year to year there is a huge mess about the same thing, and the Ukrainian business empires are still not aware of it. For some time I was “having fun”, searching for their pages in social networks and explaining in detail what kind of a holiday it is and for whom. But this is no good. To do business Ukrainian way is not about admitting and correcting mistakes, to do business Ukrainian way is to ban, to take away the review writing option, remove objectionable comments, and if there are many of them, clean everything up and turn off the opportunity to comment at all. And then they create their own club of pink ponies and metabolic rainbows: “Girls, what kind of cream did you buy for your men in the office?”, “Can I make the order for the 7th-grade students?” The most stupid advertisement that I found in messages was “Give your man perfect hands” and a photo with manicured fingers around the open mouth.
And yet, this is because we have lived in a gender-polar society for years and decades. All these “male conversations”, “women’s affairs”, and from that there are “male day” and “Silence woman, your day is March the 8th”. Here I would like to recall that at this time, somewhere in the world, women changed science on an equal basis with men, moved progress… but to whom would I say that? After all, whoever is able to understand this, perhaps, like me, is looking at all these advertisements and messages with the eyes wide open and cannot understand about what and for whom all these. And who cannot understand, no matter what you will do, whatsoever, but the highest accomplishment for them will remain the perfect hands for their men.
However, people were surprised, normal, adequate people, who were indignant, why it is not customary now to greet every “office boy” on a holiday of October 14. They really cannot understand why this holiday is not about every office clerk, that this holiday is about those, who defended the country as a warrior, as a fighter, as a volunteer. I realize that among office boys there may be volunteers and volunteers, and former military men. And this is a holiday for them, but not for everyone, who has the primary sexual characteristics of a male. In addition, my dear friends, not friends, readers and those, who got here by chance, please realize that many women have become equal in defending the country on a par with men. And this holiday is also about them and for them. Therefore, think in a wider, more analytical and deeper way.
Another thing is parents’ chat. There is one challenge from year to year there ‒ to congratulate the boys. And if a teacher or educator is conscious and can think a little, then she or he probably explains to parents that it is not February 23 that was moved, it is not a feast by gender — it is Defender’s Day, and there are boys and girls among the defenders, it’s not about the fact that “when you grow up, you will become a man”, this holiday is about the fact. Last year, one teacher, a friend of mine, made wisely ‒ on the eve she called one of the parents to the class, a veteran. A good person with a good sense of humor. He took his sister-fighter with him, who since 2014 was at the war as a paramedic, and with small interruptions works there now. So, they were there for a long time playing, talking, and reading with the children. And only then did the parents realize something about the holiday. And most importantly, children too, they were frankly surprised when they were told “happy holiday”.
Often, adherents of congratulations on the basis of gender differences are insulted that now the girls have March 8, and the boys do not. And then, it is very difficult to explain that March 8 is also not quite about gender. This is also not a holiday for girls. This is the day of women’s struggle for equality. And these little kitties with bows ‒ they had not yet had time to realize their inequality in society and that the Women’s Day is not about them.
One can explain and tell endlessly and without edge about all these. Still, the intricate logic of gender holidays takes over. And in order to connect A to B briefly and precisely, it is worth remembering that October 14 is the Day of Motherland’s Defenders (men and women), there are a number of volunteers, soldiers, fighters ‒ congratulate them. You can do this without the usual socks/shaving foam/ cream, just thank them sincerely. For them, a knowledge that everything was not in vain is much more valuable.
If you want to congratulate dad ‒ wait for the Father’s holiday, there are two of them in a year. This is the third Sunday of June and September.
If you can’t live without a holiday by gender ‒ congratulate the boys on the International Day of Men, November 19.
And about the March 8, by the way, the Mother’s Day is the second Sunday of May, and the International Day of the Girls is celebrated on October 11, after the UN proclamation.
Only, I beg you so much, even on these days, before running for socks, flowers and other gifts, at least take an interest in the history of the holiday, its symbolism, and burden yourself at least for a moment with one simple task ‒ to explain to a child about what and why this day is.
And in honor of the Intercession of the Theotokos, in honor of Defender of the Motherland Day, I congratulate everyone, regardless of gender, who defended our country. I am happy, realizing that I live next to such people. I am grateful to each of you that I am able to look into the blue sky through the golden leaves now and not be afraid for my life in this peaceful city. I thank you that this city has remained peaceful, that we can still argue, cuddle, laugh and cry, but in peace… I thank you for every golden autumn and every calm day. Only due to your sacrifice, your work, we are free today!