Oh, those charitable contributions. Wherever you go ‒ there are charitable contributions everywhere. If there were enough strength, perseverance and time, then everyone could be registered as a benefactor. When you go to the hospital ‒ you pay charitable contributions. Be ready to pay in cash, and in return, you will be given a piece of paper, without any stamp or signature. If you went to court ‒ there are also charitable contributions. In the housing and communal office ‒ charitable contributions, charitable contributions are everywhere. And if you have at least one preschooler or schoolchild in the family, then you are a professional benefactor on a regular basis.
It would seem that a charitable contribution is normal and even good, and charitable support of state institutions is a normal practice all over the world. People donate when they have something to donate from, when they want to do it, when they understand what their charity will go for. In our country, this charity has become a “charity” ‒ this is when those, who have neither the desire nor the ability to become benefactors. Note, that no one pokes the paper about the “charitable contribution” to a person with high incomes or a certain socio-political status. Our “charity” has become a compulsory fee that must be paid, otherwise, you will be refused medical care, or any other service, or they will mock at your child.
And what are we doing? We pay, but not a charitable contribution, but, in fact, a bribe. A bribe for the doctor to have the strength to review the tests and to shout at you a little less for daring to get sick here. A bribe to ensure that the nurse in the hospital did not forget to give you a mandatory injection. All this “charity” turns into bribes. We do not pay charitable contributions in order for the institution to develop, to improve, for something good to be done, we pay for a normal, human attitude towards ourselves, to make ourselves visible.
The story of the Kharkiv cake, it was not about the girl, but about you and me. It became the diagnosis for society. After all, there were still a lot of comments about the fact that the mother, who refused to pay the bribe, was to blame in this story. People, many people pointed out that parents, when refusing to pay requisitions, that is, “charitable contributions” in school or kindergarten, spoil the lives of their children. And in their world image, it is normal to bring money monthly or weekly to school so that the teacher does not accidentally start screaming at the child and humiliate it. It is normal for them to bring money to the kindergarten so that the teacher or the nanny does not beat the child accidentally, or give it some sort of conscious role at the children’s feast. And the parents compete with each other ‒ the biggest bouquet, the most expensive gift, the best cake for the holiday… And this is not “for the sake of kids” as the commentators wrote, this is all a bribe, a low and vile bribe, for the teacher, or educator, or the nurse, or the head teacher with the director, just without prejudice, do their work and do not turn into beasts.
Recently, I had an interesting discussion about whether to pay or not in kindergartens and schools. As a result, I came to the conclusion that it is impossible to feed the voracious monster endlessly. Because from these donations, from this stuffing into the mouth of “charity” it only grows, grows and becomes even more impudent and more voracious. And today his brutal nature will ignore your child, but he will swallow your child tomorrow and will not choke, therefore it will decide that you brought little, didn’t bring something, didn’t bring the way it should be.
We are hurt and scared. But this is a turning point in which we will either raise this monster further or nevertheless, break his neck completely.
Every time when they ask me to bring some money, I specify where, for what, and why. These questions are usually not loved. As they also do not like my every personal “no” to any ridiculous requests. I often and reasonably refuse to act as a “benefactor” in situations, where I don’t see where and why my charity will be spent, or if I don’t agree with the purpose of using the funds. Every time I am afraid that for this they will start to mock at my child. But I am stubborn and cruel, and from the first days of negotiations with the “monster”, I made him understand that a small step towards my child would be an occasion for me to declare war. Maybe because of that the monster is still passing me and my family.
And this whole struggle, all this is for the sake of our children, today’s children, to grow up in another society ‒ the society of equal opportunities and the absence of a bribe for the right to be recognized as a person.
Text by Tatusya Bo