Wednesday, 19 December

And to the news that we’ve deserved at the end of the working week. Unknown perpetrators have stolen… sandwiches from a bag of the spokesman of the Prosecutor General’s Office of Ukraine Andriy Lysenko. The victim notes that he has absolutely no hard feelings for the offenders. About how a trivial snack made of bread, sausage and cheese saved (or not) someone’s life – in reactions from Opinion

So, speaking about sandwiches. Lysenko himself is convinced that a stolen lunch could… save somebody’s life. Therefore, he has no hard feelings for criminals. What a kind and honest spokesman of the prosecutor’s office. Meanwhile, in the subway groups of operatives are working undercover, specialists are watching CCTV; trained dogs are trying to track the Bavarian-prosecutor’s sausage.

In a comment section to the spokesman’s post, you can find the press secretary of the Prosecutor General, Yuriy Lutsenko, Larysa Sarhan. She decided to inquire where the criminal had seized to the holy and edible property of the prosecutor’s office worker. However, it was impossible to set the exact location: Lysenko stated that the theft took place in the subway car.

Among the suspects of an extremely violent crime (you understand that I’m kidding, right?) is half of the car, which consisted of students of Kyiv higher education institutions. The investigation is in process.

Subsequently, the victim regained consciousness, and after mentally letting the loss go and a purchase of the bun, he explained: in the morning perception of smells is particularly acute in the metro car. However, the spokesman of the Prosecutor General’s Office of Ukraine does not plan to add something into his dinners, because these people are our Ukrainians. And in general, Mr. Lysenko confessed in his overwhelming love of people. Professionalism is not sandwiches, it’s impossible to lose it. I’m still kidding if anything.

But not everything is so obvious! The insider information has leaked into the network – one of the suspects is Anton Herashchenko. According to the source of Opinion in the Prosecutor General’s Office, after receiving 17 hundred grams of Bavarian sausage, Herashchenko immediately stated that this is a regular fake and a hand of Moscow. So far, the department decides whom to blame.

As for political expert Olexiy Minakov (honestly, I don’t know: whether he jokes, or writes all this seriously) suggested that propagandists would scream about poverty in Ukraine, saying that they steal even sandwiches, and are ready to kill a loaf of bread. The propagandists and Herashchenko don’t comment on this news so far.

Instead, the blogger Anton Hodza was able to see a full-fledged strategy and PR plan that was realized quite witty. So, according to the blogger, if the photo of Lysenko in the metro appeared on the network with a text like “Wow, Prosecutor General’s Office spokesman is in the subway,” then everyone would turn their noses up, and talk about the PR. Here, with the news, we learn not only only about theft but also that Mr. Lysenko uses the subway and eats sandwiches. So smoothly, unobtrusively, subtly and skillfully, we all find out the favorite type of transport of the spokesman of the Prosecutor General’s Office. Ms. Yulia, your specialists have someone to learn from. Imagine that your coffee havs been stolen at the gas station? Your rating would have been somewhere higher than the sky.

 

And finally, a quite fair comment from journalist Iryna Saliy. She wrote something like: what would the journalists write if the Prosecutor General’s Office spokesman wasn’t robbed of his sandwiches in the metro? The author said that the highest class would have been to investigate and find a thief. It’s possible, of course, but not on Friday’s afternoon. So, my darlings, take care of yourself, your sandwiches and be alert, especially in the morning, when the smells in the car are especially noticeable. See you!

Reactions were collected and the sandwich was finished by Stepan the Goat

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